When Bill came home after his first stroke, I talked to him about writing a memoir about our experience. We could take turns writing alternate chapters from our points of view. He said, “I don’t know.”
Since he only had the use of his right hand, I suggested he could dictate his chapters either into a recorder or to me directly, and I could write them down. I even joked that we could both sit at his computer. I could press the keys on the left side, and he could press the keys on the right side, kind of like playing “Chopsticks” on the piano. He said, “I’d rather play ‘Chopsticks’ on the piano with you.”
I gave up on the idea of a book written by both of us, but now that he’s gone, I’m thinking of writing a memoir about my six years of caring for him. In the meantime, I’ve written three poems from what I hoped was Bill’s perspective. I could only imagine what he was thinking. These poems were published in How to Build a Better Mousetrap: Recollections and Reflections of a Family Caregiver. I’ll paste one below.
From a Husband’s Perspective
She works hard
to care for me, the house.
She cooks, cleans, does laundry,
fetches, carries,
does everything I’m unable to do.
She writes short stories, novels, essays.
She’ll be a best selling author one day.
I couldn’t do without her.
Abbie Johnson Taylor, Author of We Shall Overcome and How to Build a Better Mousetrap: Recollections and Reflections of a Family Caregiver
You provided so much for Bill, I can’t help but think how much JOY you brought into each others lives.
Thanks, Mary, I appreciate your thoughtful words.
I’m sure he felt he couldn’t do without you, Abbie. I remember a time when Barry and I had a disagreement after he was diagnosed with lymphoma. I left the room, angry, and he asked my sister to bring me back. “She is all I have,” he said, in tears. How frightened he must have been when he thought I might not be there for him. But I would never have left him for any reason. Not ever.
Hi Glenda, thank you for sharing this. I’m sure Bill felt the same way, and I hope I never gave him a reason to believe I wouldn’t be there for him.