Thanks to A. Marie Silver for inspiring another post. For years when I had a landline, I got calls from a gentleman, usually with an accent, claiming to be from Microsoft. He told me he was getting error messages from my computer. The first time he called, my PC wasn’t even on. I hung up, realizing it was probably a scam. Until I had my landline disconnected, he kept calling, and I kept hanging up.
It has since occurred to me that I could have tried to fight fire with fire. Here’s how such a phone call might have gone if I’d been using my head.
***
Me: Hello.
Scammer: Hello, Mrs. Taylor, this is So So from Microsoft. How are you today?
Me: Fine thanks, how about you?
Scammer: I’m great. Thanks for asking. I’m calling today because I’ve been getting error messages from your computer.
Me: Oh really, it’s funny you should call. I heard about your scam, but don’t hang up. I want to help you.
Scammer: Really?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you whatever information you need if you’ll do something for me.
Scammer: Okay, what?
Me: I’m a writer. Surely you’ve heard of me. My last ten books made the New York Times #1 bestseller list.
Scammer: No, I don’t think so.
Me: Well, anyway, I’m writing a book about people like you, social engineers. I need you to tell me about people you’ve successfully scammed and why you did it. This could be another bestseller for me. I could make a lot of money and maybe give you a percentage plus the information you need about my computer.
Scammer: Are you trying to scam me?
Me: Of course I am. How does that make you feel?
Scammer: Well, I’m pissed off. Duh!
Me: All right then, why do you like pissing off other people by scamming them?
Scammer: End call.
***
Now that I just have a cell phone, I don’t receive such calls anymore. I wish I’d thought of the above plan when I had the landline. Oh well, that’s life.
***
Author Abbie Johnson Taylor
How to Build a Better Mousetrap: Recollections and Reflections of a Family Caregiver
That’s Life: New and Selected Poems
My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds
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My Corner 
HAHAHAHA! That’s awesome!
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Thank you, Amarie, I’m glad I gave you a good laugh today.
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I had particularly bad luck w/this 1 phone number I had in California. So at 3 a.m., this 1 guy called, breathing heavily & saying what he’d like to do w/to me. I listened, & at the end told him he probly couldn’t even get it up. I never again got a call from him. Another time, I had a coach’s whistle & blew it in a guy’s ear for the same reason. That was also notably effective. Yeah–they deserve what they get.
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Those are good suggestions, Jackie. I’ll keep them in mind.
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Brilliant!
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Thank you, Bethany.
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