This past Sunday, I spent almost an entire day reading a book about lonely people, not because I was lonely but because this book was recommended as a good holiday read. My review will go live here Thursday, so stay tuned.

Meanwhile, in my opinion, loneliness is a state of mind that can be controlled. You can choose to wallow in self-pity because you don’t have anyone to love, or you can go on with your life, as I have done. I didn’t get married until I was in my 40’s. Before then, I was content to be single.

One of my friends was a victim of acquaintance rape, and another was abused by her husband. I came to the conclusion that it was better to never love than to be in any of those situations. Besides, I was too busy with work, writing, and other activities to have a relationship.

Then, after a two-year correspondence, Bill sent me a letter, asking me to marry him. My life changed, and I realized that not all men are bad. I felt lucky to have found such a catch, and he felt the same way about me. Despite the two strokes that confined him to a wheelchair, we had seven happy years together.

Now, he’s been gone five years. Am I in another relationship? No, I never will be. Am I lonely? No, I have my writing and other activities to keep me occupied and the support of family and friends. Unlike food, shelter, clothing, and medicine, relationships are not something humans need to survive.

What do you think about loneliness? Have you ever felt lonely? You can learn more about me and Bill in My Ideal Partner.


Author Abbie Johnson Taylor

We Shall Overcome

How to Build a Better Mousetrap: Recollections and Reflections of a Family Caregiver

That’s Life: New and Selected Poems

My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds

Click to hear an audio trailer.

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Author: abbiejohnsontaylor

I'm the author of two novels,, two poetry collections, and a memoir. My work has appeared in various journals and anthologies. I'm visually impaired and live in Sheridan, Wyoming, where for six years, I cared for my totally blind late husband who was paralyzed by two strokes. Please visit my website at http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com.

6 thoughts on “Loneliness”

  1. Being single is definitely better than the two relationships you mention, and it’s possible to be lonely in a marriage as well. I was lonely for years, mainly because my geographic location made socializing difficult, and I knew no one who shared my interests. Becoming part of a writing community and, later, moving, with marriage in the middle, made a world of difference. But I think it’s a shame the way our society looks at singles (as some people looked at me). There’s nothing wrong, they’re just single.


    1. Good point about society and singles. It’s especially bad in churches where the expectation is that everybody must be married and have children. I happen to like being single and alone. I’m like the man in the Simon and Garfunkel song, “I Am a Rock.”


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