49 Ways to Please Your Lover

Image contains: Abbie, smiling.

I recently heard on National Public Radio that the state of Georgia is considering a bill banning abortions after the first heartbeat is detected. This got me thinking about how women get into situations where they may want to have an abortion. I’ve learned from personal experience that you don’t need sex to have a great relationship.

Soon after we were married, we discovered that my late husband, who was my first and only love, was impotent. This bothered Bill, but it didn’t matter to me. I loved him, and he loved me, and we enjoyed each other’s company. You can read our story in My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds.

Young people need to understand that unless they want to conceive, sex isn’t necessary. A couple can do other things for pleasure: sports, walking on the beach, or enjoying a movie or meal together. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with kissing, caressing, and snuggling. Bill and I did plenty of that. If there are 50 ways to leave your lover, there must be 49 ways to please your lover. The 50th would be intercourse, defined by my high school P.E. teacher years ago as “the insertion of the penis into the vagina.”


The other night, I had an intriguing phone conversation with some friends who are nudists. They don’t engage in intercourse, but they’ve found other ways to reach orgasm. For one, touching the end of her nose triggers it. For another, nuzzling her earlobe sets her off.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t do this sort of thing. Orgasm isn’t something I need. I’m just trying to make a point.

If simply being together and enjoying each other’s company doesn’t bring you enough pleasure and you want a family or are infertile for some reason, then go ahead and have sex. Otherwise, try the 49 ways. I’m sure you’ll find some activity that’s just as fun.


My Books


My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds

That’s Life: New and Selected Poems

How to Build a better Mousetrap: Recollections and Reflections of a Family Caregiver

We Shall Overcome

My Other Links

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Author: abbiejohnsontaylor

I'm the author of two novels,, two poetry collections, and a memoir with another novel on the way. My work has appeared in various journals and anthologies. I'm visually impaired and live in Sheridan, Wyoming, where for six years, I cared for my totally blind late husband who was paralyzed by two strokes. Please visit my website at http://www.abbiejohnsontaylor.com.

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