This past Sunday, I spent almost an entire day reading a book about lonely people, not because I was lonely but because this book was recommended as a good holiday read. My review will go live here Thursday, so stay tuned.
Meanwhile, in my opinion, loneliness is a state of mind that can be controlled. You can choose to wallow in self-pity because you don’t have anyone to love, or you can go on with your life, as I have done. I didn’t get married until I was in my 40’s. Before then, I was content to be single.
One of my friends was a victim of acquaintance rape, and another was abused by her husband. I came to the conclusion that it was better to never love than to be in any of those situations. Besides, I was too busy with work, writing, and other activities to have a relationship.
Then, after a two-year correspondence, Bill sent me a letter, asking me to marry him. My life changed, and I realized that not all men are bad. I felt lucky to have found such a catch, and he felt the same way about me. Despite the two strokes that confined him to a wheelchair, we had seven happy years together.
Now, he’s been gone five years. Am I in another relationship? No, I never will be. Am I lonely? No, I have my writing and other activities to keep me occupied and the support of family and friends. Unlike food, shelter, clothing, and medicine, relationships are not something humans need to survive.
What do you think about loneliness? Have you ever felt lonely? You can learn more about me and Bill in My Ideal Partner.