Tag: strokes

Breath of Heaven #Monday Musical Memories

I first heard this song in December of 2005, two months after my late husband Bill and I were married. It captivated me, and for some reason, I couldn’t get it out of my head, even after Christmas.

Then in January of 2006, Bill suffered the first of two strokes. I could now identify with the feelings the Virgin Mary expresses in this song. Why me? Did I have to bear this burden alone? Our future was uncertain.

I have since realized that like the Virgin Mary, I was chosen. Unlike the Virgin Mary, I had a choice. I could have said no to Bill’s marriage proposal, but I didn’t. I could have walked away after he suffered his first stroke, but I never considered that as an option.

If Bill and I hadn’t been married, no doubt he would have been alone in January of 2006 in Fowler, Colorado, when he had that stroke. He would have spent the rest of his life in a nursing home because his family would have been unable to care for him. His quality and quantity of life would have been affected. You can read our full story in My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds.

The song I’m singing today, “Breath of Heaven,” inspired me to write the following poem, which was published in the fall/winter 2018-2019 issue of Magnets and Ladders. If you click on the title, you’ll hear me recite the poem and sing the song.

THE POOR BLESSED VIRGIN

She stands, alone, cold, weary

after traveling many days and nights.

Why was she chosen to bear this Holy Child?

Must she do it alone?

Will Heaven help her?

New! The Red Dress

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You Light Up My Life #Monday Musical Memories

After my family moved to Sheridan, Wyoming, in the 1970’s, I entered a talent contest every year. The Stars of Tomorrow show was usually held in February. Prizes in first, second, and third place were awarded in three age groups: elementary, junior high, and high school. When I performed, I accompanied myself on the piano.

⠠⠔ 1974 when I was in the sixth grade, I sang “El Condor Pasa” by Simon and Garfunkel. I didn’t win but didn’t let that keep me from entering every year after that until my sophomore year when I sang “You Light Up My Life” and won first place. Since there were only two other contestants in that division besides me, I figured I would win something, but I never expected to win first place.

I still remember that night. They always announced the third and second-place winners first. After the other two contestants received their third and second-place trophies, the realization hit me. It was all I could do to contain myself. When my name was finally called, despite my limited vision, I sprinted across the stage to receive my prize.

I was then entitled to enter the state competition, held that year in Powell, a five-hour drive across the mountains. This contest only had two divisions, representing each of two parts of the state, with three prizes awarded in each division. My division had a lot more than three contestants, and the competition was stiff. I didn’t win, but like all other contestants, I received a trophy for participating. I still felt like a star.

The song, “You Light Up My Life,” played an important role in my adulthood as well. One year, after my late husband Bill suffered two paralyzing strokes, and I became his caregiver, I gave him a special Valentine gift. It was a doll wearing a red dress. When her hand was squeezed, she sang “You Light Up My Life.” I should have played the piano and sung him the song instead, and I eventually did. But every night before we went to bed, I would squeeze the doll’s hand, and as she sang the song, we would embrace and kiss. It was our nightly routine for a long time.

Bill did light up my life, and I didn’t realize it until after he was gone. Even when he could no longer use his left side, he lit up my days. Although he couldn’t sing, he filled my nights with song. I was drifting at sea until he told me he loved me and pulled me to shore.

Sometimes, you don’t know a good thing until it comes along, then leaves you. Bill was that good thing. Now, I’ll sing the song the way I did the night I won first place in the Stars of Tomorrow contest.

you light up my life

New! The Red Dress

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A Compelling Look at Firefighting and Inner-City Culture #Thursday Book Feature

Beneath the Flames

by Gregory Lee Renz

Mitch is a farmer and a volunteer firefighter in a rural Wisconsin town. After a devastating fire, he falls into a deep depression, harboring guilt that he didn’t do more to save a child who died in the flames. Then 9/11 happens. After seeing news reports about heroics of firefighters at Ground Zero in New York City, he decides to leave his family’s farm and become a firefighter in Milwaukee.

After a grueling training process and being assigned to an inner-city district, he becomes embroiled in the culture of poverty, drugs, and gang violence. When he’s not fighting fires and socializing with new friends, he tutors inner-city children who come to the fire station every day and helps out at a nearby school. After his father suffers a debilitating stroke, Mitch must decide between continuing to work in Milwaukee or returning to the farm.

As a retired fire captain, Gregory Lee Renz uses his experiences to craft a compelling, yet satisfying story of loss and renewal that shuttles readers from a rural farm to an inner-city firehouse and places in between. From the first page, I was riveted. I usually don’t like violence in books, but throughout this story, I had a feeling things would work out. I like the way the author starts and ends with a fire. Reading this book not only gave me more of a perspective on firefighting, but it also made me grateful that the problems I face on a day-to-day basis are nothing compared to living in an inner-city or on a farm that’s about to be foreclosed.

New! The Red Dress

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The Sound of Music Medley #Monday Musical Memories

When I was in second grade, I was first introduced to The Sound of Music while hanging out at a friend’s house on weekends. Her family had the soundtrack, and we listened to it a lot. In fifth grade, I sang in the school choir, and we performed “Climb Every Mountain” for graduation. In seventh and eighth grade glee clubs, we used variations of “Doe Ray Me” to warm up before practicing songs we would perform.

When I worked as a registered music therapist in a nursing home, one resident liked to yodel. So, I sang “The Lonely Goat Herd” with her. I wasn’t the best yodeler, but she sang along with me and seemed to enjoy it.

A couple of years ago when I started entertaining at an assisted living facility on a regular basis, one lady told me she’d lived in Austria when they were filming The Sound of Music, and her favorite song was “Edelweiss.” So, I sang that song for her every time. She has since passed away, but I still perform the song there occasionally.

The Sound of Music was my late husband’s favorite. In My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds, I describe the agonizing process of getting him to sing with me, which the speech therapist recommended. Before his strokes, he was a pretty good singer. But afterward, although he could intone the words in the right rhythm, he couldn’t carry the tune.

Now that he’s gone, I enjoy singing songs from The Sound of Music because it brings me closer to him. I hope you also enjoy my medley of songs from this precious musical. May your hills always be alive with the sound of music.

Sound of Music Medley

New! The Red Dress

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The Impossible Dream #Monday Musical Memories

The musical this song is from was one of my late husband Bill’s favorites. After he suffered his first stroke, and it was evident that he wouldn’t be walking anytime soon, I worked to achieve what some might consider an impossible dream, caring for him at home. It was hard work, learning to perform all of Bill’s personal care tasks, but I did it.

Meanwhile, he tried to reach his unreachable star, to walk again. He never reached that star, but I reached mine, caring for him at home for six years, almost until his last days. You can read more about this in my memoir, My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds.

Susan Boyle’s beautiful rendition of this song brought all this to mind. I hope you find it as moving as I did.

How about you? Did you have a dream that you or anyone else thought was impossible? Did you achieve it?

New! ! The Red Dress

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Lay Down Your Weapons and Lie on the Couch #Essay

In my new novel, The Red Dress, my main character’s mother used to be a librarian before she developed Alzheimer’s and ended up in a nursing home. Now, she’s fond of correcting everyone’s grammar. When aides ask her if she’s ready to lay down, she says, “No, I want to lie down.”

When I was my late husband’s caregiver after he suffered two strokes, we would often have a similar conversation. He would say, “Can I lay down?”

I’d say, “No, I will lay you down. You can lie down, but you cannot lay down.” He’d only laugh, and the next time he was ready for a nap, the conversation would be repeated. He wasn’t losing his memory. He just loved getting my goat by using incorrect grammar. You can read more of our story in My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds.

The use of “lay” and “Lie” can be confusing. So, here’s one way to look at it. You can lay down your weapons, but if you want to take a nap, you need to lie on the couch.

! The Red Dress

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