Lay Down Your Weapons and Lie on the Couch #Essay

In my new novel, The Red Dress, my main character’s mother used to be a librarian before she developed Alzheimer’s and ended up in a nursing home. Now, she’s fond of correcting everyone’s grammar. When aides ask her if she’s ready to lay down, she says, “No, I want to lie down.”

When I was my late husband’s caregiver after he suffered two strokes, we would often have a similar conversation. He would say, “Can I lay down?”

I’d say, “No, I will lay you down. You can lie down, but you cannot lay down.” He’d only laugh, and the next time he was ready for a nap, the conversation would be repeated. He wasn’t losing his memory. He just loved getting my goat by using incorrect grammar. You can read more of our story in My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds.

The use of “lay” and “Lie” can be confusing. So, here’s one way to look at it. You can lay down your weapons, but if you want to take a nap, you need to lie on the couch.

 

! The Red Dress

Copyright July 2019 by DLD Books

Front cover contains: young, dark-haired woman in red dress holding flowers

When Eve went to her high school senior prom, she wore a red dress that her mother had made for her. That night, after dancing with the boy of her dreams, she caught him in the act with her best friend. Months later, Eve, a freshman in college, is bullied into giving the dress to her roommate. After her mother finds out, their relationship is never the same again.

Twenty-five years later, Eve, a bestselling author, is happily married with three children. Although her mother suffers from dementia, she still remembers, and Eve still harbors the guilt for giving the dress away. When she receives a Facebook friend request from her old college roommate and an invitation to her twenty-five-year high school class reunion, then meets her former best friend by chance, she must confront the past in order to face the future.

***

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Three Little Birds #Monday Musical Memories

I have a nasty habit of worrying. I keep telling myself it doesn’t do any good, that whatever worries me will work out one way or another, but that doesn’t always help. I started worrying when I was thirteen years old.

At the time, all my friends had baby-sitting jobs. So naturally, I wanted one. I didn’t need the money. I just liked the idea of caring for smaller children. My parents, who were active in community theater, finally decided I was old enough to be left home alone with my younger brother Andy.

I then discovered that baby-sitting wasn’t easy. Andy rarely respected my authority. He was supposed to go to bed at nine o’clock, but when the time came, getting him there was a feat comparable to climbing Mount Everest. I cajoled, threatened, begged. Finally, after about fifteen minutes of arguing, he gave in. He was six years old and could get himself ready and into bed. Once he was asleep, the house was oddly quiet, and the nightmare began.

I lay awake, waiting for the reassuring hum of my parents’ car pulling into the garage next to my bedroom. Most nights, they were home by ten thirty. But one night, they still hadn’t returned by eleven.

I lay there, wondering what to do. My stomach, after having been tied up in knots for the past hour and a half, finally revolted. I leaped out of bed and dashed for the nearest bathroom, which was off the master bedroom. Andy often slept in our parents’ bed until they came home. So naturally, my vomiting woke him up. For once, he was nice. He offered to call Joan, a family friend Mother said we could contact in an emergency. I thought that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Maybe she would even come over and stay with us until our folks came home.

When Andy reached her on the bedside phone and explained that I was sick and Mother and Dad weren’t home yet, she suggested I brush my teeth and get back into bed and she would try to find our folks. I did as she suggested. Andy let me snuggle with him in our parents’ bed, a rare treat since my baby brother was getting past the cuddly stage.

A few minutes later, Joan called back and said she hadn’t been able to find our parents. I burst into tears, proclaiming that they’d been killed in a car accident and we were now orphans. This possibility didn’t seem to bother Andy. He just lay there, saying nothing.

Joan was sympathetic and patient. She assured me that our parents were probably out drinking somewhere and they would be home soon. She stayed on the phone with me until I felt sleepy. When Mother and Dad finally came home around two in the morning, they found us both asleep in their bed.

Because I’d been sick the night before, I was allowed to stay home from school the next day. Mother told me that if the incident from the previous night happened again, she would hire a baby-sitter. I wanted to tell her she could do that. I was done with that career. But I was too proud.

Mother also berated me for scaring Andy with the notion that we were orphans. What would she have done in my situation? Dad told me I just needed to go to sleep, and they would get home when they got home. That was easier said than done.

From then on, play rehearsal nights and any time our parents went out without us became a source of dread. Most nights, they were home early, but other nights, they weren’t. I thought if I went to bed while Andy was still up, I could be asleep before our folks came home and wouldn’t be responsible if Andy decided not to go to bed at his appointed time. Although I fell asleep, I had weird dreams and woke frequently. I never rested easy until our parents’ car pulled into the garage.

When I got into high school, I finally stopped worrying about our parents when they were out late. But I’ve never stopped worrying about things beyond my control. I often think of “what if” scenarios. Because of my vivid imagination, that’s why I’m a writer.

If you’re not familiar with the song I’m featuring today, you’re probably wondering what three little birds have to do with all this. In the song, three little birds deliver a message that we shouldn’t worry, that every little thing will be all right. If I’d heard this song back in my first baby-sitting days, would it have changed my perspective? Who knows?

 

How about you? Are you a worrier? Have you ever worried unnecessarily?

 

New! The Red Dress

Copyright July 2019 by DLD Books

Front cover contains: young, dark-haired woman in red dress holding flowers

When Eve went to her high school senior prom, she wore a red dress that her mother had made for her. That night, after dancing with the boy of her dreams, she caught him in the act with her best friend. Months later, Eve, a freshman in college, is bullied into giving the dress to her roommate. After her mother finds out, their relationship is never the same again.

Twenty-five years later, Eve, a bestselling author, is happily married with three children. Although her mother suffers from dementia, she still remembers, and Eve still harbors the guilt for giving the dress away. When she receives a Facebook friend request from her old college roommate and an invitation to her twenty-five-year high school class reunion, then meets her former best friend by chance, she must confront the past in order to face the future.

***

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A Day in the Life of…Abbie Johnson Taylor #Meetanauthor #Uniqueauthors

Thanks to Library of Erana for featuring me on their blog today. Enjoy!

Library of Erana

Welcome to Abbie Johnson Taylor

Please give us a brief outline of who you are. I’m the author of two novels, two poetry collections, and a memoir. I’m visually impaired and live in Sheridan, Wyoming, where, for six years, I cared for my late husband who was totally blind and partially paralyzed by two strokes. Before that, I was a registered music therapist and worked for fifteen years in nursing homes and other facilities that served senior citizens. I also taught braille, facilitated a support group for blind and visually impaired adults, and served on the advisory board to a trust fund that allows the blind and visually impaired to purchase adaptive equipment.

Do you work at another job? If so, tell us about fitting in the writing. When I started writing in 2000, I was still working, sometimes forty-hour weeks. It was hard finding time to write. In…

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Poet Reflects on Life #Thursday Book Feature

My Life in My Words

by Carrie Hooper
Copyright 2019

The poems in this collection touch on faith, life experiences, nature, and holidays and offer some miscellaneous reflections. An entire section of the book is dedicated to poems inspired by the author’s memories of visiting friends in Huntsville, Alabama. Some poems are preceded by notes explaining what inspired them.

I met Carrie Hooper years ago through Newsreel, an audio magazine where blind and visually impaired people can share ideas and music or buy, sell, or give something away. She recently joined Behind Our Eyes, a group of disabled authors. I’ve had the pleasure of reading her work on our email list and in our online publication, Magnets and Ladders. We still correspond by email daily.

Because of the vivid imagery in Carrie’s poems, I was with her on a beach, feeling the sand’s softness under my feet. I tasted the sweetness of pancakes, waffles and pies and listened to joyous vocal and instrumental music praising God. Her poems about holiday recollections brought back my own such memories. Her work tells stories that are easy to understand. You don’t have to like poetry in order to enjoy this collection.

 

New! The Red Dress

Copyright July 2019 by DLD Books

Front cover contains: young, dark-haired woman in red dress holding flowers

When Eve went to her high school senior prom, she wore a red dress that her mother had made for her. That night, after dancing with the boy of her dreams, she caught him in the act with her best friend. Months later, Eve, a freshman in college, is bullied into giving the dress to her roommate. After her mother finds out, their relationship is never the same again.

Twenty-five years later, Eve, a bestselling author, is happily married with three children. Although her mother suffers from dementia, she still remembers, and Eve still harbors the guilt for giving the dress away. When she receives a Facebook friend request from her old college roommate and an invitation to her twenty-five-year high school class reunion, then meets her former best friend by chance, she must confront the past in order to face the future.

***

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I’m a Disabled Writer #Essay

I’m taking a stand against so-called political correctness. Recently, during a meeting of one of my writing organizations, Behind Our Eyes, we discussed the use of language in writing. This got me thinking about how I’ve never liked the term “people with disabilities.” It’s too wordy, like saying, “cats with blackness” or cars with whiteness.” We normally say, “black cats” and “white cars” so why not “disabled people.”

Being disabled is part of who a person is. A cat isn’t ashamed to be black, and a car isn’t ashamed to be white. So, people with physical or mental impairments should never be ashamed to be disabled people.

That said, I’ll no longer refer to writers with disabilities. I’ll say, “disabled writers.” Instead of telling people that I have a visual impairment, I’ll say I’m visually impaired. It’s a part of who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it.

***

By the way, today, my totally blind and partially paralyzed late husband and I would have been married fourteen years. Rest in peace, sweetheart. I love you.

 

New! The Red Dress

Copyright July 2019 by DLD Books

Front cover contains: young, dark-haired woman in red dress holding flowers

When Eve went to her high school senior prom, she wore a red dress that her mother had made for her. That night, after dancing with the boy of her dreams, she caught him in the act with her best friend. Months later, Eve, a freshman in college, is bullied into giving the dress to her roommate. After her mother finds out, their relationship is never the same again.

Twenty-five years later, Eve, a bestselling author, is happily married with three children. Although her mother suffers from dementia, she still remembers, and Eve still harbors the guilt for giving the dress away. When she receives a Facebook friend request from her old college roommate and an invitation to her twenty-five-year high school class reunion, then meets her former best friend by chance, she must confront the past in order to face the future.

***

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My Amazon Author Page

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WebsiteImage contains: Abbie, smiling.

Like a Prayer #Monday Musical Memories

My late husband Bill once told me he fell in love with my voice. So, the song I’m featuring today expresses what he must have been feeling. I don’t think he’d heard it, or he would have included it in one of several cassette tapes he sent me containing music he’d downloaded from the Internet before we were married. I hadn’t heard it until recently while streaming an 80’s station from Amazon Music, but when I did, I immediately thought of Bill. The song must have come out after I lost interest in popular music in 1985.

Madonna’s words can be hard to understand at times. So, I’ve copied the lyrics from Google and pasted them below the video. To learn more about Bill and me, you can read My Ideal Partner: How I Met, Married, and Cared for the Man I Loved Despite Debilitating Odds.

Like a Prayer
Madonna

 

Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like home
When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there
I hear your voice, it’s like an angel sighing
I have no choice, I hear your voice
Feels like flying
I close my eyes, Oh God I think I’m falling
Out of the sky, I close my eyes
Heaven help me
When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there
Like a child you whisper softly to me
You’re in control just like a child
Now I’m dancing
It’s like a dream, no end and no beginning
You’re here with me, it’s like a dream
Let the choir sing
When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there
When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel a power
Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there
Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like home
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there
Just like a prayer, I’ll take you there
It’s like a dream to me
Just like a prayer, I’ll take you there
It’s like a dream to me
Just like a prayer, I’ll take you there
It’s like a dream to me
Just like a prayer, I’ll take you there
It’s like a dream to me
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there
Your voice can take me there, just like a prayer
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Patrick Leonard / Madonna Ciccone
Like a Prayer lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc

***

What about you? Was there something in particular about your significant other that captivated you?

 

New! The Red Dress

Copyright July 2019 by DLD Books

Front cover contains: young, dark-haired woman in red dress holding flowers

When Eve went to her high school senior prom, she wore a red dress that her mother had made for her. That night, after dancing with the boy of her dreams, she caught him in the act with her best friend. Months later, Eve, a freshman in college, is bullied into giving the dress to her roommate. After her mother finds out, their relationship is never the same again.

Twenty-five years later, Eve, a bestselling author, is happily married with three children. Although her mother suffers from dementia, she still remembers, and Eve still harbors the guilt for giving the dress away. When she receives a Facebook friend request from her old college roommate and an invitation to her twenty-five-year high school class reunion, then meets her former best friend by chance, she must confront the past in order to face the future.

***

My Books

My Amazon Author Page

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WebsiteImage contains: Abbie, smiling.

The Garden of Small Beginnings #Thursday Book Feature

Image contains: Abbie, smiling.

The Garden of Small Beginnings

by Abbi Waxman

 

Several years after her husband was killed in a car accident, Lillian is still devastated. She works as an illustrator for a publishing firm. One of her assignments is to provide pictures for a book on vegetables. For research, she and her little girls, along with her sister, take a gardening class where they meet some interesting characters. Together, they create a community garden, but vegetables, fruits, and flowers aren’t the only things that grow there.

Each chapter is preceded by a section that explains how to grow a particular plant. Those aren’t as interesting as the story. I love the humorous way the author portrays grief, gardening, romance, and healing. Her telling of the story from Lillian’s first-person point of view, as if she were talking to you face to face, gives it a more casual touch. The ending ties everything up but leaves the reader wondering.

One thing I don’t like about this book is the idea that a woman needs to have a man in order to be happy. I’ve been content to live most of my life without a man. That said, even if you’re not into gardening, which I’m not, and even if you’re not into romance, which I’m not, you’ll get a good laugh and a good feeling from this book.

 

New! The Red Dress

Copyright July 2019 by DLD Books

Front cover contains: young, dark-haired woman in red dress holding flowers

When Eve went to her high school senior prom, she wore a red dress that her mother had made for her. That night, after dancing with the boy of her dreams, she caught him in the act with her best friend. Months later, Eve, a freshman in college, is bullied into giving the dress to her roommate. After her mother finds out, their relationship is never the same again.

Twenty-five years later, Eve, a bestselling author, is happily married with three children. Although her mother suffers from dementia, she still remembers, and Eve still harbors the guilt for giving the dress away. When she receives a Facebook friend request from her old college roommate and an invitation to her twenty-five-year high school class reunion, then meets her former best friend by chance, she must confront the past in order to face the future.

***

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My Amazon Author Page

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